Moonfall is the latest from Independence Day director Roland Emmerich, and if his recent track record was any indication, we were in for a wild ride. Maybe not a fun ride, or a rewarding ride, but a crazy one nonetheless.
John Bradley (Game of Thrones) stars as K.C. Houseman, a conspiracy theorist who discovers that the moon is slowly edging out of its orbit, bound for a collision course with planet Earth. Former NASA astronauts Jo Fowler (Halle Berry) and Brian Harper (Patrick Wilson) team up with Houseman to figure out exactly what is wrong with the moon as disasters on Earth get worse and worse (and more Emmerich-friendly).
I will admit, though, that Moonfall is far from the worst movie I’ve ever seen — it’s not even the worst of 2022 (for those curious, that dishonor still belongs to Netflix’s sexless sex thriller Brazen). Some of the action is fun to watch, and the visual effects are proof that there was at least a bit of money behind this thing — actually, scratch that; Moonfall is one of the most expensive independent films of all time. How truly unfortunate.
I still hold true to the fact that Moonfall is what would happen if somebody asked me to write a Roland Emmerich action film. On paper, there are some interesting ideas and potentially cool concepts, but it all feels so disjointed and jumbled together with some truly horrendous performances that nothing works — even what would have worked otherwise is rendered useless here by an abundance of elements that are simply painful to watch. An epic disaster movie should be earth-shatteringly fun, but Moonfall isn’t even earth-shattering. It’s hardly worth watching at all, which is the sad truth that I had initially hoped against. [Grade: D]
Director: Roland Emmerich
Writers: Roland Emmerich, Harald Kloser, Spenser Cohen
Starring: John Bradley, Halle Berry, Patrick Wilson
Rated: PG-13 for violence, disaster action, strong language, and some drug use